Small Acts of Kindness
Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, in his outstanding book, The Gift of Peace, wrote, “The things people are naturally attracted to and remember most are small acts of concern and thoughtfulness. Years later, that is what they tell you about their priests and other clergy.”
Saint Theresa, the Little Flower, wrote in Story of a Soul, “A word, an amiable smile, often suffice to make a sad soul bloom.”
Poet Maya Angelau summed it up when she wrote, ”I’ve learned that people forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Father John Welch, a Carmelite priest, wrote about a man who received hospitality from others at a critical time in his life. The man said, “Always show more kindness than seems necessary because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know.”
The above quotes were referenced in an article written by Father John Welch titled, “Small Acts of Kindness” in the March edition of the Diocese of Joliet magazine, Christ is Our Hope.
I think these small acts of kindness are something leaders may want to reflect on. Leaders carry the title of their profession with them everywhere they go. Often they are respected because of that title and the position they hold in their community. Therefore, people tend to remember their acts of kindness more than others due to their exalted position.
For the most part I really think people in athletics understand that athletics has brought them fame and when they are kind to people, that kindness can be remembered for years. We had a program called Brown & Gold Night at the University of St. Francis where we brought in a celebrity from the world of sport for a fundraising dinner. Our celebrities did not get any bigger that Hall of Famers’ Mike Ditka and John Wooden. Both of them could not have been more gracious to the hundreds of people who were in attendance. They showed no arrogance, no ego, no “I’m better than you because I’m a Hall of Famer.” Instead, they exhibited an attitude that they were genuinely grateful to meet our people and both stayed until every autograph was signed. To this day our people remember their graciousness and kindness.
When Maya Angelou wrote that people remember how you made them feel, it made me think of my mentor and coach, Gordie Gillespie, who did this better than anyone I have ever known. There could be 600 people in a room, but if he was talking to you, he made you feel like you were the only person in that room.
Our St. Francis basketball players demonstrated at Chicago clinics for some of the top coaches in the country, coaches like Bob Knight, Dean Smith, and Greg Popovich. Were you to ask our players what they remembered most about these men, I know they’d say how kind these coaches were to them. When our players were demonstrating for Coach Knight, they misunderstood his teaching on his very first drill and performed it poorly, so poorly that a good number of the 800 coaches in attendance laughed at them. Knight immediately stopped the clinic and told the coaches if he heard any more laughing from them, he’d bring ten of them out of the stands and have them demonstrate! Our players have never forgotten Coach Knight’s kindness to them.
Most leaders are in positions where they are able to do small or sometimes even big acts of kindness.
Not a bad way to be remembered.
Coach,
little/random acts of kindness really do go a long way; and the world would be a much better place if we all committed ourselves to good deeds every day of our lives.
Joe
Another excellent topic, Pat.
Father Welch’s quote is so excellent.
I attended St. Francis because of the way I was treated during recruiting. I chose a small NAIA school over a Division I program because the D-I coach left me with a feeling I would be a number. On the other hand, I remember Gordie Gillespie’s meeting with me in his office.
I can see Gordie in my mind as though it was yesterday. He looked at me and said it didn’t matter how well I played baseball or football, because he told me “you are going to be a senator” someday and make a huge contribution to society. I was so confident in my abilities when I left that meeting that I was sure I wanted to be a Saint.
How I was treated by the coaching staff at St. Francis after fall baseball my junior year changed my life. I was the 15th best pitcher out of 14 on the roster and had never really recovered fully from knee surgeries. Tony Delgado sat me down and explained that I could stay with the team if I chose but if not, they’d honor my scholarship and give me a job in the athletic department.
I realized at that moment how much they cared about me as a young man. Almost instantly, I resolved to work harder to recover from the injuries and regain some form as a pitcher. Because of the way they made me feel, I changed my outlook, stopped feeling sorry for myself and got myself back to the point where I could contribute as a varsity pitcher for two years.
The way Tony dealt with me has stuck with me and I’ve tried over the years to deal with employees, ballplayers and family with this type of approach (not always successfully).