Tag Archives: leadership

In his superb book, Adversaries into Allies, Bob Burg writes, “In the process of becoming an Ultimate Influencer, controlling your emotions comes before every step, every time.”

Having coached basketball for forty-four years, I can certainly relate to the above statement.

It took a game in North Dakota for me to realize how your emotions can adversely affect your judgment. I got so angry at the officials in the second half of a championship game that I had no productive instructions for my team for the final twelve minutes of the game. I allowed my emotions to take me right out of the game.

As I matured as a coach, I came to believe that the coach-referee relationship was not an adversarial relationship. Officials want to make the correct call and that is all we can hope for as coaches – the right call.

I won’t say that I turned referees into allies, but I certainly came to have a better relationship with them when I learned to control my emotions. An official validated this when he told me, “We do listen to you during games because you say so little to us during the course of the game.” I simply said what I had to say to the refs, then went immediately back to my coaching. I could not coach and ref at the same time!

Leaders are coaches. When coaches control their emotions, they are better coaches.

Bob Burg teaches us a very valuable lesson when he emphasizes that in difficult situations our first step, every time, should be to control our emotions.

“Birds sing after a storm…” (Rose Kennedy)

If anyone had storms in his or her life, it was Rose Kennedy. The above was the quote that she used to get through all the tragedies that happened to her children.

This was a quote a priest used in his homily one Sunday at Mass. He had been accused of pedophilia, only to be exonerated some months later. When asked how he endured the incredibly difficult months that followed the accusation, he said he daily reiterated Rose Kennedy’s maxim.

There is a lot of adversity out there and none of us is exempt, most especially those in leadership positions. Certainly, one of the worst things a leader has to deal with is a false accusation.

There are three ways leaders can work through these accusations that attack their character. First, they can remind themselves that regardless of what others may say, they know the truth. They know what they did and what they did not do. So, let others say what they will, they know it is simply not true.

Second, rely on your close friends. They do stay with you through thick and thin and it is okay to lean on them. You do not always have to be the strongest person in the room.

Third, Rose Kennedy’s thought on storms can be very beneficial. The storms do end and the birds do sing. It can be a most difficult ride, but its intensity will end or, at the very least, dissipate. It is critical for the leader to remind himself or herself that better times are ahead.

Leaders may gain a valuable insight from athletic coaches.

Most people have some background at some level in sport. Because they often have this past, they can be very vocal as they see your teams play. And their opinions often reference just how dumb a coach you are!

If you coach, it is a given that you will have your critics.

When you are having a losing season, the profession is no walk-in-the-park. The crowds at games, the radio, the newspaper, and the television are constant reminders that times are tough and that you are the leader.

Given the above, even though you may not recognize it during the difficult times, you do realize at the end of your career why you coached. It is all about relationships. It is about the players who become your friends – cherished friends. You develop an incredibly strong bond with your players and you come to believe just how privileged you were to have coached them.

The literature seems to reflect that today’s leaders neither direct nor manage their people; instead, they coach them.

If leaders realized that they are coaches and took the above lesson from athletic coaches, it could really impact their leadership decision-making in such a positive way.

You coach for the long-haul – for the relationships and the friendships that you build for a lifetime.

Mark Twain once wrote, “I didn’t attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

It does not have to be that way for a leader at the end.

I believe great leaders do the same four things that great teachers and coaches do:

1. They know their subject matter, be it algebra, football, or a particular business. This knowledge automatically earns them the respect of the people they are leading.
2. They can disseminate their knowledge. We all know of the brilliant professor who cannot bring his knowledge to our level. His brilliance is never questioned, but he cannot simplify his knowledge so we can learn.
3. They teach, coach, and lead with enthusiasm. They are enthused when we take their knowledge and succeed in history, basketball, or business.
4. By far, their most important characteristic is that they care about the people in their charge beyond the narrow confines of a classroom, a baseball field, or a work place. Amos Alonzo Stagg, the football coach at the University of Chicago when they were in the Big Ten Conference, was a perfect example of this trait. His degree was in divinity but he felt he could minister to America’s youth better from a football field than a pulpit.

Combined, these four traits help create enthusiastic followers and enduring respect for a leader. Despite Twain’s sentiment, people do want to attend the funeral of a leader who cared about them.

-Pat

Listening is respect.

When I take the time to listen to you—-really listen—-I am showing you that I respect your insights and that I respect you as a person. People want to be respected, and this is especially true for the people who report to you. They truly appreciate your willingness, as the leader, to value their opinions.

When they know that their ideas will be listened to, they in turn give more respect to the leader and work harder in their position within the organization. They feel they are an important part of making the organization the best it can be.

“Give me your eyes.”

I first heard this expression from a high school football coach, Gordie Gillespie of Joliet Catholic High School at the time, at half-time of a game. After he had listened to the offensive players answer his questions on exactly how the defense was playing, he was ready to give his second half adjustments. Prior to giving the adjustments, he told the players to “Give me your eyes.”

Obviously, he felt if he had their eyes, he very well may have their minds. I took this concept into my forty-four years of basketball coaching and my listening. In basketball, you have a total of only one minute for a time-out. First, I would quickly listen to my assistant coaches’ inputs, then I would go to the huddle to give instructions to the players, having approximately thirty seconds to get our ideas across to them. So, very assertively, I would say to our players, “Give me your eyes,” prior to the instruction.

The players had to pick up the salient points of the adjustments in a very short period of time and often in a very hostile environment when in the opponents’ gym.

I then took this very same concept into my leadership position as the athletic chair. When conducting meetings or in one on one sessions with my colleagues, I gave them my eyes while they were talking. I found that by doing this, I enhanced my listening skills.

Great leaders know two things about ideas: 1) they know they do not have all the answers and 2) they never know where the best ideas will come from. Leaders who believe they have all the answers cannot be worked with. Their egos won’t allow it. I always felt they were the worst people to report to because they had no regard whatsoever for your ideas or the ideas of others in the organization.

But the best leaders were the best listeners. They knew that they wanted to listen to everyone’s input because they never knew where the best ideas would come from.

There definitely have been times in my leadership roles where the best idea actually came from the least experienced person on our team. That is why it was – and is – the best way to lead. You need to listen to everyone in your organization.